As I’m beginning to come into the knowledge of what it TRULLY means to fear the Lord. I looked at my personal life, and I can say that “I” did not fear Him. Most of us say that we do. But if we examine our true motives of why we do some of the things that we do. The results are devastating.
But for the most part WE want to walk in the Glory of God, but with all that junk in our heart it would kill us. I have recently learned, before the Glory is revealed, it has to be divine order. My pastor talked with me briefly about bringing order to my life. But I was looking at the things around me. Thinking that I needed to get things around me in order. But as I TRIED to do so, other things begin to happen: Attitude change, disposition change, finding myself still struggling in some areas. I begin to cry out to God, asking Him why is it like this? For a moment I didn’t get anything b/c I didn’t want to know what it was, due to fear of change. Then as I simply submitted to Him, I noticed that my heart was the thing that needed the order (badly).
Most of the time people don’t fear God enough to allow His divine order to evade their hearts. Instead they bring order to the things around them. Thinking that life would be better. That is irrelevant and disrespectful to the Spirit of God. Because we are so focused on OUR wants that we can’t even hear what the Spirit is telling us what to do. Or we find ourselves still struggling in the same areas when Jesus already died on the cross for that thing.
I can go on and on about why some of us don’t fear God. But I believe we should just simple start from the basics and allow ourselves to be pliable for His use. Or be judged!
Thursday, October 1, 2009
Sunday, August 30, 2009
CALL ME WHAT YOU WANT TO!
EXPLISIT CONTENTS (rated R)
After coming out of prayer tonight, I was just laying back listening to “I Give myself Away” by William McDowell. And God had me recalling all the things that brought shame into my life. And the main thing that stood out to me was one thing that I didn’t mention in my testimony. And when I kept thinking about it, all I kept hearing was we over come by the Blood of the Lamb and the Word of OUR testimonies. (You see now, I’m steal beating around the bushes)
Well that thing WAS masturbation. Too many people that deal with it or have dealt with it don’t talk about it. And believe it or not A LOT of you do or have. Well me, IM EXPOSING YOU! (From the Root)
It started when I was about 12 or 13, when I had my 1st wet dream. When I woke up out of that dream that I had, I thought that I just had too much to drink before I went to sleep. I found out that, that was not the case when I notice the thickness and texture its contents. Then after that I wanted to know more.
Just like a drug, after that first high you find your self wanting to get higher. Or in other words for those of you that’s saying to yourself “I’ve never been high before”. Well look at it like this: the 1st time you had sex you wanted more sex. If you still don’t get my point then I don’t know what else to tell you.
The next thing I knew I stared having sex, but when I couldn’t get it I masturbated. Trying to fill a void in me that ONLY GOD can fill. After dealing with that for 10 to + years, I find myself with a hunger for God like never before and the ONLY way that I can truly get him is to kill the enemies plan(s) for my life. Even if it takes for me to put myself out like I am. So what do you think about me? Does that change the way you’re going to look at me? Will you shack my hand the next time I see you? What ever is best for you will fit me just fine. As long as I’m free from what you may think of me and the yoke in my life will make me a happy camper, in God’s camp.
(I’m not talking to nobody in particular when I asked those questions. But if you felt like I was talking to you then you may need to go to God and ask Him to assist you as He change the way you look at people. Because ME, I just want to be free.)
After coming out of prayer tonight, I was just laying back listening to “I Give myself Away” by William McDowell. And God had me recalling all the things that brought shame into my life. And the main thing that stood out to me was one thing that I didn’t mention in my testimony. And when I kept thinking about it, all I kept hearing was we over come by the Blood of the Lamb and the Word of OUR testimonies. (You see now, I’m steal beating around the bushes)
Well that thing WAS masturbation. Too many people that deal with it or have dealt with it don’t talk about it. And believe it or not A LOT of you do or have. Well me, IM EXPOSING YOU! (From the Root)
It started when I was about 12 or 13, when I had my 1st wet dream. When I woke up out of that dream that I had, I thought that I just had too much to drink before I went to sleep. I found out that, that was not the case when I notice the thickness and texture its contents. Then after that I wanted to know more.
Just like a drug, after that first high you find your self wanting to get higher. Or in other words for those of you that’s saying to yourself “I’ve never been high before”. Well look at it like this: the 1st time you had sex you wanted more sex. If you still don’t get my point then I don’t know what else to tell you.
The next thing I knew I stared having sex, but when I couldn’t get it I masturbated. Trying to fill a void in me that ONLY GOD can fill. After dealing with that for 10 to + years, I find myself with a hunger for God like never before and the ONLY way that I can truly get him is to kill the enemies plan(s) for my life. Even if it takes for me to put myself out like I am. So what do you think about me? Does that change the way you’re going to look at me? Will you shack my hand the next time I see you? What ever is best for you will fit me just fine. As long as I’m free from what you may think of me and the yoke in my life will make me a happy camper, in God’s camp.
(I’m not talking to nobody in particular when I asked those questions. But if you felt like I was talking to you then you may need to go to God and ask Him to assist you as He change the way you look at people. Because ME, I just want to be free.)
Monday, August 10, 2009
Wrestling with God
In Genesis 32:22-32, Jacob found himself to be left alone after sending everything that he possessed across the stream one night. After sending everything that he possessed across, a man came and begun to wrestle with him. Jacob did everything in his OWN strength to win the tussle. But the man touched Jacob’s hip and wrenched it out of its socket. The man told him to let him go, for the dawn is breaking. But Jacob said, “I will not let you go unless you bless me.”
As crazy as it may sound but ALL of us is wrestling with God at this very moment. I say this because we are a work in progress. God is purifying our hearts but we tend to fight against this process of perfection. Even if it’s as little as complaining in our own minds. But in God’s eyes, that’s as bad as complaining out loud.
God is telling us to send ALLLLL of that stuff across the river and call it rubbish, so that we can gain Christ and become one with Him. Also experience the mighty power that raised Him from the dead.
In the process that God sends us through we become broken. In Jacob’s case he suffered hip injury. When I look at that, I'm like man; I want that same hip injury. Sounds crazy doesn’t it? If you read and get a good understanding of what happen after Jacob received the hip injury you will see that his name changed to Israel. And when people seen him after that they probably looked at him and asked what happen to him, due to the fact that he didn’t walk like everybody else. But before he got the hip injury the man told him that dawn was about to break. So it’s letting us know that a new day is coming. A day when we will resurrect, a day when we are set apart and stand out from everything/body elses.
But first we have to wrestle with God/go through the process of perfection and loose that battle. If you find yourself not wrestling with God, you may need to examine yourself more and see what’s really going on in that so-called heart of yours.
As crazy as it may sound but ALL of us is wrestling with God at this very moment. I say this because we are a work in progress. God is purifying our hearts but we tend to fight against this process of perfection. Even if it’s as little as complaining in our own minds. But in God’s eyes, that’s as bad as complaining out loud.
God is telling us to send ALLLLL of that stuff across the river and call it rubbish, so that we can gain Christ and become one with Him. Also experience the mighty power that raised Him from the dead.
In the process that God sends us through we become broken. In Jacob’s case he suffered hip injury. When I look at that, I'm like man; I want that same hip injury. Sounds crazy doesn’t it? If you read and get a good understanding of what happen after Jacob received the hip injury you will see that his name changed to Israel. And when people seen him after that they probably looked at him and asked what happen to him, due to the fact that he didn’t walk like everybody else. But before he got the hip injury the man told him that dawn was about to break. So it’s letting us know that a new day is coming. A day when we will resurrect, a day when we are set apart and stand out from everything/body elses.
But first we have to wrestle with God/go through the process of perfection and loose that battle. If you find yourself not wrestling with God, you may need to examine yourself more and see what’s really going on in that so-called heart of yours.
Wednesday, May 6, 2009
Childhood War$
You're probably trying to figure out what I'm up to now. Well, I want to take a moment to talk about childhood wars. It’s so much I don’t know where to start.
Well let’s jump to the basics. Most American are born into this world without their parents present in their life. Either mom or dad is not there like they are supposed to be or both aren’t present. Don’t believe me? Take a good look at our society. Most of our teens are growing up not knowing where they are headed in life.
Example: There once was a boy who grew up with his grandmother. He used to always wonder where mom and dad was. But nobody never told him where and what they was doing. So he lived his childhood year’s quiet not really wanting to talk to anybody due to feeling like he was rejected and abandoned. Every chance that he got he strived to fit-in with everybody that was around him. Most of the people around him were negative role models. So you know where life took him!
Children who survive in this type of life often become independent and rebellious because they have learned in life to TRY to make it own their own. I say this because NO PERSON will ever care for you like a true mom or dad. And without them in your life, thats how you will feel. There are so many kids growing up now days without that mother or father role model in there life. And in the mist of that satan is using his best weapon that he has for them in their teenage years, sex and drugs.
If you have kids or want kids someday how would their life be?
Well let’s jump to the basics. Most American are born into this world without their parents present in their life. Either mom or dad is not there like they are supposed to be or both aren’t present. Don’t believe me? Take a good look at our society. Most of our teens are growing up not knowing where they are headed in life.
Example: There once was a boy who grew up with his grandmother. He used to always wonder where mom and dad was. But nobody never told him where and what they was doing. So he lived his childhood year’s quiet not really wanting to talk to anybody due to feeling like he was rejected and abandoned. Every chance that he got he strived to fit-in with everybody that was around him. Most of the people around him were negative role models. So you know where life took him!
Children who survive in this type of life often become independent and rebellious because they have learned in life to TRY to make it own their own. I say this because NO PERSON will ever care for you like a true mom or dad. And without them in your life, thats how you will feel. There are so many kids growing up now days without that mother or father role model in there life. And in the mist of that satan is using his best weapon that he has for them in their teenage years, sex and drugs.
If you have kids or want kids someday how would their life be?
Friday, May 1, 2009
Critical Point
Everyone reaches a critical point in life and they have to choose which way they are going to have to go after that. My critical point in life was when I was released from prison on Jan 13, 2008 at 11 am. When I walked through the gates I got a taste of freedom. But it was only for a short period of time. Around 11:30 am I found out that my only sibling (brother) was killed. Now that I think about it, while I was in prison I read a book about a guy with a back ground almost like mine and the same thing happen to him.
God has a way of allow things like that happen to us to get our attention on Him. But He only allows what He knows that we can handle happen to us. Some times we put ourselves in a predicament when we know that it’s not right, but instead we go right ahead and do it anyway. And in the mist of it, we hear that small but still voice in our head saying “DON’T DO IT, DON’T DO IT!!!!!!!!!”
Well for starters that’s God way of speaking to us when we are in the mist of sinning. Can you hear that voice speaking to you? Or is the only voice that you hear, that tells you to do something bad, the voice that you obey? If so repent, because the kingdom of Heaven is at hand! Give your heart to Christ! That’s all he desires from us. Just ask Him to come into your heart and to begin to purify it. Take a good look around you! What’s going on in the world today? Better yet, what’s going on in your life?
God has a way of allow things like that happen to us to get our attention on Him. But He only allows what He knows that we can handle happen to us. Some times we put ourselves in a predicament when we know that it’s not right, but instead we go right ahead and do it anyway. And in the mist of it, we hear that small but still voice in our head saying “DON’T DO IT, DON’T DO IT!!!!!!!!!”
Well for starters that’s God way of speaking to us when we are in the mist of sinning. Can you hear that voice speaking to you? Or is the only voice that you hear, that tells you to do something bad, the voice that you obey? If so repent, because the kingdom of Heaven is at hand! Give your heart to Christ! That’s all he desires from us. Just ask Him to come into your heart and to begin to purify it. Take a good look around you! What’s going on in the world today? Better yet, what’s going on in your life?
Thursday, April 30, 2009
Knowing satan Tactics
2 Corinthians 10:3-6
For though we live in the world, we do not wage war as the world does. The weapons we fight with are not the weapons of the world. On the contrary, they have DIVINE POWER to demolish strongholds. We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we TAKE captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ. And we will be ready to punish every act of disobedience, once your obedience is complete.
This scripture tells a lot about how we are suppose to act in life. Most of the time we allow the things of this world to come between the divine powers that Christ has given us. Our divine power is greater than an atomic bomb, but it acts as a weapon of mass destruction. Destroying everything that’s not Christ like that holds us captive in our personal lives.
Satan uses the things from our past against us, to cause us to fall deep into sin. With out Christ in our lives we truly wouldn’t know how to defeat him in our personal lives.
Think about the times when you are by your self and just so happen something you use to do/still do, leaps into your mind. What do you do? Do you bring that thought into the physical realm or do you cast it down?
The saying a mind is a terrible thing to waste is a true saying. Our mind CAN be like the gate way to hell. Its open 24/7, it never rest, things are coming in and out like a 7-11. That’s why it’s important that we stay in the word of God, to renew our mind set.
Philippians 3:12
Not that I have already obtained all this, or have already been made perfect, but I press on to take hold of that for which Christ Jesus took hold of me.
God is telling us to PRESS! Press even when you fell like you cant no more. When satan see that open gap when we are not pressing towards the goal, he activates the little bit of power that he do have. And the first thing that he attacks is our mind.
I highly encourage each of you to study the gospels and PRESS on to reenact Jesus life.
For though we live in the world, we do not wage war as the world does. The weapons we fight with are not the weapons of the world. On the contrary, they have DIVINE POWER to demolish strongholds. We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we TAKE captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ. And we will be ready to punish every act of disobedience, once your obedience is complete.
This scripture tells a lot about how we are suppose to act in life. Most of the time we allow the things of this world to come between the divine powers that Christ has given us. Our divine power is greater than an atomic bomb, but it acts as a weapon of mass destruction. Destroying everything that’s not Christ like that holds us captive in our personal lives.
Satan uses the things from our past against us, to cause us to fall deep into sin. With out Christ in our lives we truly wouldn’t know how to defeat him in our personal lives.
Think about the times when you are by your self and just so happen something you use to do/still do, leaps into your mind. What do you do? Do you bring that thought into the physical realm or do you cast it down?
The saying a mind is a terrible thing to waste is a true saying. Our mind CAN be like the gate way to hell. Its open 24/7, it never rest, things are coming in and out like a 7-11. That’s why it’s important that we stay in the word of God, to renew our mind set.
Philippians 3:12
Not that I have already obtained all this, or have already been made perfect, but I press on to take hold of that for which Christ Jesus took hold of me.
God is telling us to PRESS! Press even when you fell like you cant no more. When satan see that open gap when we are not pressing towards the goal, he activates the little bit of power that he do have. And the first thing that he attacks is our mind.
I highly encourage each of you to study the gospels and PRESS on to reenact Jesus life.
Wednesday, April 29, 2009
FREEDOM!!!!!!!!!
God called each and every person to be free from the cares of this world and destruction. In my experience in my walk with Christ, it’s been tough. As humans we have fallen so far from God, MOST people can’t hear from Him. Due to the fact that they allow satin voice to over power Gods voice.
A few weeks ago I seen a movie called Gabriel. The movie was about Ark Angels living an experience here on earth. All of them except Gabriel fell from what God called them to do on earth. Some of the things that caused them to fall are sexual immorality, fear, and doubt. I say these three because these are the main three that was in the movie. Also they cause humans to fall away from what God has called us to walk into.
Sexual immorality causes us to loose focus of the things that we want to do. And what God called us to walk into. It tends to make us just focus on self, and emotions. Most of the time we humans feed that sexual temptation by the things that we see, and hear. Then you find yourself out of the will of God. Next thing you know you are masturbating or fornicating. This would lead you to a place where satan has you by your soul. Because the only thing that would be on in mind is SEX.
Fear played a major factor in the movie. I’m not going to go into detail about the movie, but walking in fear gives satan ALL the power and authority over your life that God has given us. So instead of you having the power and authority to cast down those vain thoughts and imaginations satan comes at you and you can’t do anything about it. That’s because you just handed your authority over to him. Most of the time fear, doubt, and unbelief come from the things that people speak into our lives.
The last thing that stood out in the movie was doubt. Walking in doubt is not a good thing, it leaves no room for God to move on our behalf. So instead of believing God for the impossible you end up a victim. In the movie “Gabriel” ALL of the Ark Angels was operating in doubt. They didn’t think that Gabriel could defeat the enemy that was taking the God given power and authority from the Angels. So you know what satan did! If not, I encourage you to look at the movie. Oh yea, make sure that nobody under 13 is in the room with you.
A few weeks ago I seen a movie called Gabriel. The movie was about Ark Angels living an experience here on earth. All of them except Gabriel fell from what God called them to do on earth. Some of the things that caused them to fall are sexual immorality, fear, and doubt. I say these three because these are the main three that was in the movie. Also they cause humans to fall away from what God has called us to walk into.
Sexual immorality causes us to loose focus of the things that we want to do. And what God called us to walk into. It tends to make us just focus on self, and emotions. Most of the time we humans feed that sexual temptation by the things that we see, and hear. Then you find yourself out of the will of God. Next thing you know you are masturbating or fornicating. This would lead you to a place where satan has you by your soul. Because the only thing that would be on in mind is SEX.
Fear played a major factor in the movie. I’m not going to go into detail about the movie, but walking in fear gives satan ALL the power and authority over your life that God has given us. So instead of you having the power and authority to cast down those vain thoughts and imaginations satan comes at you and you can’t do anything about it. That’s because you just handed your authority over to him. Most of the time fear, doubt, and unbelief come from the things that people speak into our lives.
The last thing that stood out in the movie was doubt. Walking in doubt is not a good thing, it leaves no room for God to move on our behalf. So instead of believing God for the impossible you end up a victim. In the movie “Gabriel” ALL of the Ark Angels was operating in doubt. They didn’t think that Gabriel could defeat the enemy that was taking the God given power and authority from the Angels. So you know what satan did! If not, I encourage you to look at the movie. Oh yea, make sure that nobody under 13 is in the room with you.
Wednesday, January 28, 2009
TRUTH!
Have you ever been through something or somethings and tried to figure out how you made it through it? (Most of the time we use our physical minds to do the thinking for us.) And what answer(s) did you come up with? Have you ever felt out of place and when you looked around you was alone? That’s because God has a pull on your soul and he’s trying to get your attention by forcing you to think about the same questions I’m asking you. (Can you hear that small voice in the back of your head that’s telling you to do what right?)
As human’s we tend to look around the truth. Due to that old saying “Truth Hurts” or we just don’t like to deal with the things that’s deeeeep down inside our hearts. Truth really does hurts, but it corrects us most importantly. Without correction in our lives where would society be today? Would you be reading this? Would you be alive? Correction is the BEST thing that can happen to us. If there was no correction we would kill ourselves literally. That’s why Jesus died on the cross, to bring correction to the human race. We as people been in error since Adam and Eve. Once they eat from the tree of knowledge of good and evil it all begun. Till this very day the human race is still in error. Luckily for us, God said that he would never destroy everything living on the earth again. We also know that THIS Earth is not going to be here forever. If God is not going to destroy it then who is? In the book of Revelation it talks about the end of times for the Earth. The Anti-Christ reveals himself (As we look at the way things are going now we can tell that his day is coming soon!) and God takes HIS chosen ones with Him and leave the ones that rejected Him.
Who knows when this time gets here? Who’s side will YOU be on?
As human’s we tend to look around the truth. Due to that old saying “Truth Hurts” or we just don’t like to deal with the things that’s deeeeep down inside our hearts. Truth really does hurts, but it corrects us most importantly. Without correction in our lives where would society be today? Would you be reading this? Would you be alive? Correction is the BEST thing that can happen to us. If there was no correction we would kill ourselves literally. That’s why Jesus died on the cross, to bring correction to the human race. We as people been in error since Adam and Eve. Once they eat from the tree of knowledge of good and evil it all begun. Till this very day the human race is still in error. Luckily for us, God said that he would never destroy everything living on the earth again. We also know that THIS Earth is not going to be here forever. If God is not going to destroy it then who is? In the book of Revelation it talks about the end of times for the Earth. The Anti-Christ reveals himself (As we look at the way things are going now we can tell that his day is coming soon!) and God takes HIS chosen ones with Him and leave the ones that rejected Him.
Who knows when this time gets here? Who’s side will YOU be on?
Thursday, January 22, 2009
My Life Testimony:
Growing up in Raleigh, NC was like living in hell to me now that I look back on the life I lived. I spent most of my childhood living with my grandmother. My mom and dad was around, but they wasn’t AROUND like a mom and dad should have been. I attended church but I thank God I didn’t understand what was really going on because the church was build on religion. Once I turned 12 I moved with my dad and I got exposed to ALOT of things. There was no discipline in our house hold cause dad was always at work. So my brother and me started running the streets, having sex with any girl that could walk, selling drugs and smoking weed/marijuana/pot. On my 13th birthday I got drunk for the 1st time, I got a fever of 103 degrees from that. My mom and dad found out but there was no discipline actions taken out on me from that. Once I got better it opened up allot of doors that could have lead me str8 to hell. I started skipping school, robbing people, stealing cars, selling drugs even harder, not thinking about a future, etc. When I turned 15 the unthinkable happen, I started getting in trouble with the police. That was the trap Satan had for my brother and me since we moved with our dad. I got put on probation in till I turned 17. I only had 1 year of probation but my rebellious ways prolonged it. Once off probation I dropped out of school thinking I was cool and trying to fit in with my cousin and our crew.All of a student I started getting robbed for chump change, but it made me look back on the things I was doing to people. In 2 of those robberies I thought I was going 2 be killed. The first one I had a 45 Blue Steel revolver to my head and I wasn’t going to give up anything. But the Holy Spirit told me to give it up, and I did! (I didn’t know what the Holy Spirit was at that time) A few days later the same guy that robbed me was on the news for killing someone in a robbery gone bad. I thought to myself that could have been me! The 2nd one happen in 2007, before I went to prison. It was somebody I grew up with that just got out of prison himself. We was together all that night in till his boys came up & was trying to get some cocaine. I guess they didn’t have no money cause they jumped on me and I started fighting back in till I seen the gun they had. You know me I gave it up! The whole time I was on the run from the law for violating my 2nd probation for selling weed/marijuana/pot to a police informer back in 2006, also a DWI charge I got in 2007. God is so amazing He speaks to us in allot of was. that night His Spirit told me not to go to the club. But I just got my income taxes and I was hard headed.A few months after that my brother went to jail. Then the law finally got a hold of me. A week after I was in jail my brother got out. Once in prison (on the yard) I found myself reading the bible and attending bible studies. But I didn’t really want Christ in my life I wanted out of that HELL whole. My brother and me was making some BIG plans for when I got out of prison. But the day of my release day, he was shot down and killed @ 1am. When I got out at 11am I was looking for him, but he was nowhere in sight. Once my mom told me what happen the only thing came to mind was revenge. I strapped myself with a 9mm and my mom had her 38 special. All the men in my family had a gun from 22's to AK47's. During My brothers funeral the people from the church he attended with his wife was in the crowd over 200 people. (Most of the people couldn’t fit into the church we was in.) I had a short talk with them but I didn’t want no church, I wanted revenge. A few weeks after my brothers murder God started softening up my heart even more. I gave my gun back to my cousin and gave my life to Christ. I didn’t think much of it in till the Spirit lead me to cut my dreads I had been growing for 8 long years on July 4, 2008. After I did that God shot me to another level. I felt like allot of burdens & bondages broke off me in that one act of obedience. Today my walk with Christ is steadily building up day after day. I just can’t get enough of Him! Even in the mist of losing my only sibling. But today I can TRULLY thank God for taking my brother, because I finally found my missing link I've been looking for, for 22 long and hurtful years.
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