EXPLISIT CONTENTS (rated R)
After coming out of prayer tonight, I was just laying back listening to “I Give myself Away” by William McDowell. And God had me recalling all the things that brought shame into my life. And the main thing that stood out to me was one thing that I didn’t mention in my testimony. And when I kept thinking about it, all I kept hearing was we over come by the Blood of the Lamb and the Word of OUR testimonies. (You see now, I’m steal beating around the bushes)
Well that thing WAS masturbation. Too many people that deal with it or have dealt with it don’t talk about it. And believe it or not A LOT of you do or have. Well me, IM EXPOSING YOU! (From the Root)
It started when I was about 12 or 13, when I had my 1st wet dream. When I woke up out of that dream that I had, I thought that I just had too much to drink before I went to sleep. I found out that, that was not the case when I notice the thickness and texture its contents. Then after that I wanted to know more.
Just like a drug, after that first high you find your self wanting to get higher. Or in other words for those of you that’s saying to yourself “I’ve never been high before”. Well look at it like this: the 1st time you had sex you wanted more sex. If you still don’t get my point then I don’t know what else to tell you.
The next thing I knew I stared having sex, but when I couldn’t get it I masturbated. Trying to fill a void in me that ONLY GOD can fill. After dealing with that for 10 to + years, I find myself with a hunger for God like never before and the ONLY way that I can truly get him is to kill the enemies plan(s) for my life. Even if it takes for me to put myself out like I am. So what do you think about me? Does that change the way you’re going to look at me? Will you shack my hand the next time I see you? What ever is best for you will fit me just fine. As long as I’m free from what you may think of me and the yoke in my life will make me a happy camper, in God’s camp.
(I’m not talking to nobody in particular when I asked those questions. But if you felt like I was talking to you then you may need to go to God and ask Him to assist you as He change the way you look at people. Because ME, I just want to be free.)
Sunday, August 30, 2009
Monday, August 10, 2009
Wrestling with God
In Genesis 32:22-32, Jacob found himself to be left alone after sending everything that he possessed across the stream one night. After sending everything that he possessed across, a man came and begun to wrestle with him. Jacob did everything in his OWN strength to win the tussle. But the man touched Jacob’s hip and wrenched it out of its socket. The man told him to let him go, for the dawn is breaking. But Jacob said, “I will not let you go unless you bless me.”
As crazy as it may sound but ALL of us is wrestling with God at this very moment. I say this because we are a work in progress. God is purifying our hearts but we tend to fight against this process of perfection. Even if it’s as little as complaining in our own minds. But in God’s eyes, that’s as bad as complaining out loud.
God is telling us to send ALLLLL of that stuff across the river and call it rubbish, so that we can gain Christ and become one with Him. Also experience the mighty power that raised Him from the dead.
In the process that God sends us through we become broken. In Jacob’s case he suffered hip injury. When I look at that, I'm like man; I want that same hip injury. Sounds crazy doesn’t it? If you read and get a good understanding of what happen after Jacob received the hip injury you will see that his name changed to Israel. And when people seen him after that they probably looked at him and asked what happen to him, due to the fact that he didn’t walk like everybody else. But before he got the hip injury the man told him that dawn was about to break. So it’s letting us know that a new day is coming. A day when we will resurrect, a day when we are set apart and stand out from everything/body elses.
But first we have to wrestle with God/go through the process of perfection and loose that battle. If you find yourself not wrestling with God, you may need to examine yourself more and see what’s really going on in that so-called heart of yours.
As crazy as it may sound but ALL of us is wrestling with God at this very moment. I say this because we are a work in progress. God is purifying our hearts but we tend to fight against this process of perfection. Even if it’s as little as complaining in our own minds. But in God’s eyes, that’s as bad as complaining out loud.
God is telling us to send ALLLLL of that stuff across the river and call it rubbish, so that we can gain Christ and become one with Him. Also experience the mighty power that raised Him from the dead.
In the process that God sends us through we become broken. In Jacob’s case he suffered hip injury. When I look at that, I'm like man; I want that same hip injury. Sounds crazy doesn’t it? If you read and get a good understanding of what happen after Jacob received the hip injury you will see that his name changed to Israel. And when people seen him after that they probably looked at him and asked what happen to him, due to the fact that he didn’t walk like everybody else. But before he got the hip injury the man told him that dawn was about to break. So it’s letting us know that a new day is coming. A day when we will resurrect, a day when we are set apart and stand out from everything/body elses.
But first we have to wrestle with God/go through the process of perfection and loose that battle. If you find yourself not wrestling with God, you may need to examine yourself more and see what’s really going on in that so-called heart of yours.
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